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The table shows the employment of students in four countries in the United Kingdom after their courses in 2001.

The table provides data regarding the proportion of students employed from 4 different countries (Scotland, England, Wales, and Northern Ireland) in the UK after finishing their first courses in 2001.
Overall, Scotland and England emerged as dominant with a considerable leadership, contributing relatively higher figures, while the reverse pattern was true for Wales and Northern Ireland.
Focusing first of all on the countries whose shares witnessed larger employment rates, Scotland and England’s students increasingly preferred permanent jobs, standing at 43.6% and just under one-third respectively.In terms of the percentage of temporary professions, England was slightly higher than that of Scotland by a margin of a mere 3%, amounting to the respective figures of 23% and nearly one-fifth. Students getting overseas occupations from Scotland and England were close to each other, hovering around 2%.As a result, the total shares of Scotland and England were 66.4%, a figure which was the highest among the four, and 58%, respectively.
Turning to the details regarding Wales and Northern Ireland, the former accounted for 30% in terms of students’ permanent employment, whereas the latter was responsible for one-fifth in this category. In the remaining categories, the figures for Welsh students engaged in temporary and overseas employment were 12.4% and 2.3%, respectively, leading to a total of a staggering 45.7%. Meanwhile, the share of Northern Irish students worked in temporary professions formed 8.6%, and those in overseas employment was the largest proportion in this category,with 5%.

7.0

The essay is well-organized with a clear comparison of the data between the countries. However, some sentences could be more concise, and transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Suggestions
  • Use linking words to improve flow.
  • Avoid overly complex sentences.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with some minor repetition. There is a good use of comparative language.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with occasional errors in punctuation and sentence structure.

The essay successfully summarizes the main features of the table and makes relevant comparisons. It addresses the task prompt effectively.