The table shows the proportion of fifty-year-old adults who were never married over five decades in Japan. The chart represents Japanese marriage and divorce rates from 1970 to 2016.
The table shows the percentage of unmarried fifty-year-old adults in Japan between 1970 and 2010, while the line graph illustrates how Japanese marriage and divorce rates changed from 1970 to 2016.
Overall, the proportion of unmarried adults increased throughout the period and it showed a sevenfold growth. In the meantime, the number of marriages decreased significantly, whereas the opposite is true for divorce rates.
In terms of unmarried adults, in 1970, only 2% of fifty-year-olds did not marry. The following decade saw a doubling in this figure, which was followed by further increase to 12% in 2000. By the year 2010, this figure had reached a peak of 15%.
In contrast, Japanese marriage and divorce rates showed various changes. By 1970, around 100,000 divorces reported, while the number of new marriages was staggering 1,000,000. Similarly, the figure for divorce rates increased to about 250,000 during the next three decades and remained stable at the end of the period, while marriage numbers decreased considerably to 800,000 in 2000. Meanwhile, the rate for marriages dropped to 600.000 until the end of the period.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good balance between the description of unmarried adults and the other data points.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data points are clearly and accurately described.
- Consider providing more detailed comparisons and contrasts between the data points.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is generally accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be improved.
The essay provides a clear overview of the data and makes relevant comparisons and contrasts. The key features of the data are identified and described, and the information is presented in a logical sequence. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis and commentary on the data.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed analysis and commentary on the data.
- Include specific data points and trends in the analysis to support the comparisons and contrasts.