The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a notion that the values that children learn in a family have got a more significant effect on their future success than knowledge and skills they acquire at school. Although this statement can be true to some extent, I believe school education can teach more practical knowledge that can be applied in professions and the significance of the skills they develop can never be matched.
Indeed, home environment has a great influence on our development as an individual. Parents can teach the true values of life and relationships and many various traits that children need in their future life when they start their own family. Having learnt those, people may form more successful realtionships and become adequate members of the society.
I, however, argue that school plays a more remarkable role in preparing the person for the future life. In order for people to succeed in life, whether by career accomplishments or social contributions, individuals need practical knowledge that they are able to use in their occupation or in anything they do. All the subjects at school that students are supposed to study can give them a wealth of such knowledge that can serve as an asset.
Furthermore, children have the opportunity to develop many useful skills at school. Since students spend a great deal of time socializing with their peers from many different backgrounds and participating in a wide range of activities at school.This, in turn, sharpens their soft skills, such as communication, public speaking, digital literacy or language skills, enabling them do a number of different things in the future.
In conclusion, while people may learn valuable lessons from their parents and family that can serve them to handle different family matters, I am of the opinion that school education is more crucial as it teaches much more useful knowledge and gives the students a chance to improve their skills.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be further developed in places.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that you fully develop your points and provide a clear conclusion.