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The working week should be shorter and workers should have a long weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

The majority of chief executives of companies are old aged people. There is a view that youth can also be in charge of this kind of roles. I agree with this statement as young adults are more energetic and creative, as well as have broader outlooks that match today’s standards.
One key factor why I agree with those who claim that not only old but young people should be directors of companies as well, is their energy and creativeness. Young generation often tend do be active and full of new ideas. If they become leaders, everything will change for good. Young directors will try to do their best and implement various initiatives in order to take their organizations to another level in comparison with older people who are not that energetic and have traditional-mindset. A well-known example is Mark Zuckerberg who became the creator and the CEO of Facebook which is one the biggest companies in the world at the age of 23. It was his passion and creativeness that led both him and his company to this kind of success .
In addition, another significant point is that the outlook of youth is broader and suits today’s standards more than that of old people’s. The young leaders keep up with current trends and act accordingly, while old directors are accustomed to outdated patterns of controlling. One good example can be Elon Musk the CEO of Tesla motors who became millionaire at 27 and founded SpaceX at the age of 30. He is known for setting ambitious goals, taking big risks, and driving his teams to achieve them, which is what most of the old directors are not able to do. That means, youth should also be given the chance of being in charge of big companies.
To sum up, young leaders can lead huge organizations because of their energy, creative way of thinking and broad horizon. Therefore I am in full agreement with the idea that youth can also become directors of big companies.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and precise.

Suggestions
  • Consider revising the introduction to more clearly and directly introduce the topic and your position.