The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that their weekly working hours should be less and some people think that they should have longer vacation days. I agree with first group of people. People should have shorter working week for several reasons.
To start with, a shorter working week can help to mental health of workers. Too much of working hours in a week can cause a huge problem with stress, mental health and condition of human. For example, in countries like China, employees often suffer because of overmuch weekly working hours. They work 6 days in the week and spend 10 hours per day for their job. It affects to their health, so they need to take vitamins every day.
Secondly, a shorter working week can improve productivity of employees. When they have more time for themselves, they can be more productive and reveal their potential. Also, with shorter working hours they can come up with new ideas and open new opportunities for their future life.
However, some people think that shorter working weeks can cause disaster in business, like decreasing of income, falling of salary and violation of balance in graphics of companies. To solve this, companies should have as much employees as it possible to remain stable balance in incomes of companies.
In conclusion, weekly working hours should be shorter and employees should have a longer vacation days to be in balance and have stable well health. Overall, this ideas have several benefits. However, it also has disadvantages with whom they confront if they do it in real life.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues that can affect the overall clarity. Additionally, there are some spelling errors that could be corrected to improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the benefits of a shorter working week and longer vacation days for employees. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant reasons. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.