Thee cart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they give birth to their first child in 1966, 1986, and 2006.
The given chart details the percentage of women from different age groups who gave birth to their first child in Australia between 1966 and 2006. Overall, it is clear that across these forty years, there was a considerable shift towards more mature maternity, as more and more women preferred to have their first child later in their lives.
Turning to the youngest age groups, in 1966, around 35% of women from the youngest age bracket (19 and under) had a child, compared to over 61% of females aged 20 to 24, who comprised the absolute majority. However, both figures decreased in 1986, accounting for nearly 20% for the former and just under 40% for the latter group. This downward trend continued until the end of the period, with the percentage of women under 20 falling further to 10% and those under 25 experiencing a decline to 39% in the final year.
Focusing on more mature women, the number of females from the 25-29 age bracket constituted around 39% in the initial year, reached its peak in 1986 with approximately 51%, and then decreased again to 42% in 2006, indicating a negligible increase of 3% over 40 years.
In contrast, the rates for the next two age groups showed substantial growth over time. Those from the 30-34 year age group started with 11% in 1966, which was only two per cent higher than for those under 40. Both numbers increased and constituted almost 19%, before increasing further in the final year with 30% for those under 40, and a whopping 50% for those aged 30-34.
Finally, the percentage of women who became mothers after 40 years old was considerably lower across all years. Standing at 1% in 1966, it did not experience any major changes, hovering around 3% at the end of the period.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The information is sequenced in a way that makes it easy to follow the trends, and there is effective use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show more variety.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures and shows a good level of grammatical control. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data presented in the chart. The writer has clearly addressed the task requirements and provided a well-developed response.
Suggestions
- Make sure to double-check your work for minor errors, such as missing units of measurement or inconsistencies in the data presentation.