Today many people do not know their neighbours in great cities

Nowadays,many people do not know their neighbors in great cities.
On the one hand,everyone should a work.Beacuse they can starve to death.In order to work and find a job,eveyone should be familiar with humanity,because this is the demand of the time.Besides eveyone work very hard to earn money.When going to work every day, there may be traffic jams.Because of this people are very tired beacuuse they are working.This may not be able to talk to their neighbors an they may not know their new neighbors.
On the other hand,there are some solutions to make free hours to socialize with each other. Firstly,there should be many kinds of holiday in countries other thank work.Therefore,people could communicate,closely with each other.In addition, parents should allow their children to play with other children.Beacuse of this parents,also recognized each other
In my opinion,there are some suggested ways to retify it,such as celebrating traditional events together or by allowing their children to stirike a friendship.
JO’RAYEVA SEVINCH

4.0

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas unclear. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. There are also instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay.

The essay uses a limited range of grammatical structures and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a limited range of grammatical structures and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. These errors sometimes make it difficult to understand the intended meaning, so more attention to grammatical accuracy is needed.

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the reasons why people in large cities may not know their neighbors and suggesting some solutions. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the ideas could be more effectively supported with specific examples or further explanation.