Today more people are overweight than ever before. What the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?
In the 21st century , it has become common to see more people struggling with obesity as opposed to the past . While this issue can be largely attributed to lack of physical exercises and unhealthy diet , this problematic situation can be successfully solved by governmental policies .
One key reason of popularity of obesity in society is that most individuals live in sedentary lifestyle – less physically active life due to busy work schedule . In Today`s competitive world , people heavily focus on working much with the purpose of achieving financial stability . Having worked in a such way ,whether they want or not , they suffer from daily direness . As a result , they become reluctant to do physical exercises . Furthermore , the preference of eating fast food a lot among people can be another contributing factor for gaining weight a lot , not least because such foods are highly rich in less nutrients and much fat which make immune system weak . Unless immune system works properly , under no circumstances can it can find strengths to release extra unnecessary fat out of human body . As a result , the amount of calories in body increases and makes people overweight . Due to such factors , the number of overweight people has seen a significant increase recent years .
Nonetheless , there are several ways by which this matter can be successfully resolved . Firstly , working hours should be shortened by responsible authorities . For example , should a worker come out of his or her work early , it will be a great chance to spend time on other activities including but not limited to participating in sports and doing outdoor activities in which people do a certain sporting activity with family or friends . To illustrate , if a family do regular physical exercises together just playing tennis or jogging , it may help them to be in a good shape since our cardiovascular system works faster and extra fat releases once body is physically active . Moreover , introducing cost policy by government can be another positive solution to this matter . This is mainly because unhealthy fast is accessible almost everywhere with extremely affordable price . For instance , even a school pupil can purchase such products in school canteens because of availability and low cost . If the amount of tax on such foods is increased noticeable , producers also will rise product cost . As a consequence , no everyone is able to afford this kind of diet and prefer healthy and notorious foods to avoid unreasonably expensive costs .
In conclusion . In conclusion, the main reasons behind the growth in the proportion of overweight people are the influence of hectic lifestyle and a lack of healthy food in their menu . However, by declining office hours for workers and implementing tax policy on fast foods by government , this issue can be successfully resolved .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, leading to a lack of clarity in the progression of ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity and precision. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can affect the clarity and readability of the text. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the primary causes and effects of the growing number of overweight people. The writer presents a clear explanation of the contributing factors, such as a sedentary lifestyle and unhealthy diet, and also suggests potential solutions, such as shortening working hours and implementing government policies. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, but the essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.