Training 65-year-olds people to use computer would be a good use of government money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is proposed that giving computational education to the elderly is a good investment in spending the government money. While this proposal empowers the elderly and make them more modern citizens in this digital age, I believe it would be a more sensible course of action to focus government spending on healthcare and the youth education.
Some people say that training the elderly people to acquire computational knowledge would make them more involved and active citizens in the age of technologies. Due to the rapid advancements and new innovations in technologies such as computers, most of the people from older generations find it hard to use them and most cannot use them at all. Government allocating funds to teaching computer skills to senior people would, indeed, help them become more digitally literate and sophisticated citizens, adding more joy and meaning to their lives.
However, in my view, prioritizing healthcare would be more beneficial for the older people than training them to use computers. Investing in healthcare would yield immediate benefits and greatly enhance the quality of life of seniors in the short term. Many elderly individuals have chronic health conditions such as arthritis, diabetes or heart diseases and struggle to afford often expensive medications and treatments. Government funding would ensure the access to healthcare without any delays and allow the individuals live their lives happily and comfortably.
Moreover, spending the sums in the education of the younger generations would be a great investment for the development of the young and impactful in the long run. Improving the education system and bringing new technologies into the classrooms not only foster growth and innovation but by integrating computers and internet into the lessons, children will grow as active participants in a technology-driven world. This youth will contribute to the economy and the workforce in the decades to come.
In conclusion, although training the seniors to make use of computers through state-funding has certain merits, I believe it would be a more effective choice for the governments to prioritize healthcare and the youth education.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

“Due to the rapid advancements and new innovations in technologies such as computers, most of the people from older generations find it hard to use them and most cannot use them at all.”

This sentence is repetitive and could be more concise: “Rapid technological advancements make it challenging for older generations to adapt to new technologies.”

“Government allocating funds to teaching computer skills to senior people would, indeed, help them become more digitally literate…”

This could be rephrased for clarity: “Government funding for computer education can significantly enhance digital literacy among the elderly.”

Suggestions

Consider using a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

“Government allocating funds to teaching computer skills to senior people”

This could be more succinctly expressed as “Government funding for senior computer education.”

“Many elderly individuals have chronic health conditions such as arthritis, diabetes or heart diseases and struggle to afford often expensive medications and treatments.”

“Government funding would ensure the access to healthcare without any delays”

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be improved for clarity.

“Government allocating funds to teaching computer skills to senior people”

This could be more clearly expressed as “Government allocating funds for senior computer education.”

“Many elderly individuals have chronic health conditions such as arthritis, diabetes or heart diseases and struggle to afford often expensive medications and treatments.”

“…and allow the individuals live their lives happily and comfortably.”

This should be revised to “…and allow them to live comfortably and happily.”

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

“Government allocating funds to teaching computer skills to senior people”

This could be more specifically addressed with examples of countries or regions where such programs have been successful, such as “In Sweden, the government has implemented programs specifically aimed at older adults to improve their digital skills.”

“Many elderly individuals have chronic health conditions such as arthritis, diabetes or heart diseases and struggle to afford often expensive medications and treatments.”

This could be supported with specific statistics or studies, such as “According to a study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 60% of older adults struggle to afford their medications due to financial constraints.”