Use of smartohones

It is being widely criticised that use of mobile phones has been increased dramatically lately. Older people claim that smartphones are are being overused mostly by children.
There are several compelling reasons why younger people are involved with various gadgets like smartphones. Firstly, its versatility in terms of communication. Smartphones helps us to keep in touch with our family and friends in various ways like social media, email and just calling. My friend, for example, always uses his cell phone to call his parents as lives very far away from his home. And also, smartphones give great accessibility in online education. Online books are always available to read on devices like smartphones. Along witj that, students save money while reading on their smartphones rather than buying an actual book.
However, use of smartohones may contribute to some misleading consequences and serious health issues. It is believed that too much screen time may affect the vision of the user or even end up with blindness. Furthermore, following a suspicious link may lead to restricted content.
On the other hand, there are many ways of protecting children from any threats to ensure that they are using their smartphones for good. Parental control, for example, can be the best app to monitor how they use their mobile phones. It also provides possibility of limiting their screen time and banning the websites that seem harmful.
In conclusion, older people older only notice dark sides of using smartphones without realizing conveniences they could bring.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the arguments more effectively.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are grammatically correct. However, there are a few errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied grammatical structures could help to convey the arguments more effectively.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, and the body paragraphs each focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments.