Watching television is bad for children.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Developed technologies like television play a crucial role in children’s lives. Although television has no boundaries, still has a positive impact on our children. In my opinion, television is a device that has educational advantages and entertaining shows.
One of the main benefits of television is that it contains shows which help children in their study time, such as BBC Kids. These kinds of programs teach subjects like: language, math and science, using ways of entertainment that contribute to their study. They have animation clips that educate how to calculate or how to think by utilizing visuals of children’s favorite 2D characters. When a child starts seeing it, he becomes active. Then his mind is open to receiving all kinds of information. Research shows that young ones have an effective response to visuals because their brains at this age learn effectively through images. Television Educational shows save time and effort.
Furthermore, television has entertaining benefits for kids. For instance, a show like Teletpase has proven massive success in children’s age, due to the way of soft and simple messages that it delivers. It exerts their energy to change mood and health which will protect them in the long term. Also, the media can distract them from crying for a long time, which is harmful to their mentality. It also keeps them away from searching for things that could lead to fatal situations.
To sum up, the usage of television may lead to fatal mistakes, but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. therefore complete removal from Kids is ungranted.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some awkward phrasings. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward phrasing that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear position, but the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the topic and more specific examples to support the arguments made.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.