We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?
In this fast faced world ,humans are more relying on the technology which are computer based , with that being said technology may replace people’s obligations or jobs in the
near future.this development is much more successful even though it has several drawbacks .
Nowadays technology is developing rapidly and this trend may modernize year by year .How? For example there might be more jobs done by robots increasing jobs efficiency and productivity .Moreover this type of machine can do works which are even risky that humans are unable to make it. Additionally increased automation in various industries will bring more benefit .the reason for this is machine work without break and don’t need any food items so the companies don’t spare money for that .Furthermore during the process of work robots or machines are managed by artificial intelligence which means they don’t make any mistakes and this job promotes the quality of products .
Virtual reality also gives more opportunity to humans to work .when people leave far away from their home or they are disabled that they can’t afford to commute to the workplace due to their health problems ,they will be able to work from home through technological tools such as computers or laptops .In addition, individuals avoid paying transportation fees and overspending their time on the way.
In conclusion
Development in technology will bring many benefits for people such as productivity or work efficiency in industrial companies and support individuals by letting them work from home .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to provide a comprehensive summary of the points discussed.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex structures, such as conditional sentences and passive voice, which are generally used accurately. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to make the writing more engaging and dynamic.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the increasing reliance on computer-based technology and its potential impact on the future. The writer takes a clear stance, arguing that this development has more benefits than drawbacks. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reinforcing the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea.