We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?
In this fast faced world ,humans are more relying on the technology which are computer based , with that being said technology may replace people’s obligations or jobs in the
near future.this development is much more successful even though it has several drawbacks .
Nowadays technology is developing rapidly and this trend may modernize year by year .How? For example there might be more jobs done by robots increasing jobs efficiency and productivity .Moreover this type of machine can do works which are even risky that humans are unable to make it. Additionally increased automation in various industries will bring more benefit .the reason for this is machine work without break and don’t need any food items so the companies don’t spare money for that .Furthermore during the process of work robots or machines are managed by artificial intelligence which means they don’t make any mistakes and this job promotes the quality of products .
Virtual reality also gives more opportunity to humans to work .when people leave far away from their home or they are disabled that they can’t afford to commute to the workplace due to their health problems ,they will be able to work from home through technological tools such as computers or laptops .In addition, individuals avoid paying transportation fees and overspending their time on the way.
In conclusion
Development in technology will bring many benefits for people such as productivity or work efficiency in industrial companies and support individuals by letting them work from home .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that hinder the overall clarity and readability of the essay. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and subject-verb agreement that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of punctuation could be improved to enhance the overall readability of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the implications of increasing dependence on computer-based technology and providing a clear position on the issue. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style, as some expressions are overly casual and may not be suitable for an academic context. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by providing a more definitive statement of the author’s position on the issue.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.