We live in a world of technology these days.While,the internet brings with it clear advantage,the problem in term of control and security of information outweighs the advantage.
We live in a world of technology these days.While,the internet brings with it clear advantage,the problem in term of control and security of information outweighs the advantage.
In technologized world,we believe that the internet has vital advantages to our daily life.However we had a couple of problem with it,such as security and control of data basement,so it outweighs the advantage side.
Initially,it is known from several occurrence,data security is important stuff for personal life,however we have clever gadgets for helping us in certain fields especially in social medias.Today it is outstanding among youth age group “being in trend and prior around their peers.If they have any conflicts the may spread their private news at platforms by accident.It creates problems between children and cause to serious crimes in that time.That’s why disadvantages are outweigh advantage side.
Nevertheless,internet can aid us in many branches when we need it,like,in our scientific researchs we can find any information from websites fastly and with high quality.For example:finding suitable photo,video and news from there is easy and effective way for saving our time for social websites.Another plus side is learning knowledges from online platforms.
In conclusion,in this essay both sides are discussed and main arguments have given with order,my ,main conclusion is that disadvantages are prior than advantages.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the organization of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear, but the body paragraphs could be more focused. The use of transitional phrases is somewhat effective, but could be enhanced. Each paragraph introduces a new idea, but the connections between them are not always clear. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that all supporting details are clearly related to this idea.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay uses a variety of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. For example, “data basement” should be “data management,” and “clever gadgets” could be more formally phrased. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain the reader’s interest. However, there are some sentences that are overly complex and could be simplified for clarity. Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of language, with few errors. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be improved.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain the reader’s interest. However, there are some grammatical errors that can be distracting. For example, “data basement” should be “data management,” and “clever gadgets” could be more formally phrased. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be improved. Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of language, with few errors. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be improved.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the internet, ultimately concluding that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs could be more focused and well-developed. The essay provides relevant examples to support the points made, but these could be more specific and clearly linked to the arguments. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the internet, ultimately concluding that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs could be more focused and well-developed. The essay provides relevant examples to support the points made, but these could be more specific and clearly linked to the arguments.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and that all supporting details are clearly related to this idea.