Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
The ways we gather and do weddings are becoming less affordable and bigger year by year because people want to be respected in society and show off themselves. This is definitely a negative shift since a wedding is a type of event that can affect people’s future in the long run. Instead of spending a large amount of money on a wedding individuals need to care about prospects.
These days many fidgres have desires; one of them is to earn respect from surrounded people in order to have better statues in the neighborhood. Consequently, they tend to waste a massive amount of money on things like food, celebrities, luxury restaurants, and many more only for one-day expenditure. For example, in Uzbekistan, many people, regardless of their family status, have bigger tendency to host weddings at extravagence wedding venues, meaning most of them desire to be acknowledged and less care about future consequences.
Admittedly, the vast majority of people take wedding loans unconsciously, and as a result, they go into debt in the long run. Even some of them sell their own properties to cut back on the amount of money they owe others; others simply start working multiple jobs in order to pay back the amount they have taken. Eventually that expense would bring even more severe health problems like heart attacks or strokes. Hence, spending too much oney only for one-day wedding is an absolutely negative development.
In conclusion, expensive weddings are being hosted mainly to be respected; however, most people spend a massive amount of money for it without understanding the future causes.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the negative impact of extravagant weddings.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as “extravagence wedding venues,” “wedding loans,” and “future consequences.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be refined for clarity and impact. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall interest and effectiveness of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that could be addressed for clarity and accuracy. For example, “many fidgres have desires” should be “many individuals have desires,” and “go into debt in the long run” could be more clearly expressed. Proofreading for these and other errors is recommended to improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the growing trend of extravagant weddings and the negative consequences of this behavior. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples and explanations. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific evidence and by offering a more nuanced understanding of the topic. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Offer a more nuanced understanding of the topic.