when choosing a job the salary is the main consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In this day and age,majority of people particularly in adults believe that when choosing a job,they firstly pay attention to the selery as most necessary consideration.I completely disagree with this view that there also some benefits accept money.
There are several benefits of people who choose a job based on its salary than its opportunity.The main one would be is people’s conditions which makes them to think more about money especially when they have a big family.For example a good salary enables them to support their family, whether it’s covering their daily needs or providing for their long-term future.Secondly humans who prefer high salary jobs are more adults than old people.The main reason is they have an different view about material world which makes them to increase interest of wealth than other arguments.
On the other hand individuals prefer high salary occupations that most people do not pay attention to it’s opportunities.There are a lot of job which provides an incentive opportunity.For instance building connections with colleagues, mentors, and industry professionals that can benefit future endeavors.
Furthermore,Many jobs provide flexibility, remote work opportunities, and the best conditions for employees for their leisure time during work. There is a place for employees in order to relax such as
Enage with sport activities and other entrepreneurial activities.I completely disagree with the statement that money is an important consideration while accepting job.
In conclusion,for the reasons mentioned above and as I have discussed in this essay, I strongly think that money is the last thing individuals should consider when looking for an occupation.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but they do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the text. However, there are several grammatical errors that can hinder understanding and disrupt the overall flow of the essay. These errors need to be addressed to improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The writer’s opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and conclusion, and the body paragraphs provide detailed explanations and examples to support the main arguments. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style to better fit the task requirements.