With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

The development of social media has resulted in many young people having uncontrolled access to the Internet. Consequently, they started preferring online chatting with friends over face-to-face meetings which can have a potential danger. This issue can be eradicated by raising awareness of threats on the Internet in the curriculum and integrating children into comfortable for them societies.
There’s no doubt that school plays a crucial role in building a child’s worldview. However, school programs are often not designed to make students aware about the online dangers due to the sudden and rapid increase in the popularity of social media among young people. Introducing new courses about the Internet from primary school can provide basic knowledge and prevent many potential misfortunes. These lessons can include information about the types of scams or policies of safe behavior on the Internet. These innovations have been effective in the USA, where online safety is one of the most prioritized themes in school programs.
In addition to this, providing better conditions for real-life communication for children can be also beneficial. Frequently, many children cannot find friends with similar interests, leading them to become isolated individuals with a small social circle, often using the Internet to make friends. Taking up additional activities as well as engaging in extracurricular lessons and encouraging children to join them can alleviate this issue. These sections can not only improve children’s skills, but also form a collective with identical interests, where children can build friendships without difficulties. It’s scientifically proven that these communities are very essential for improving communication skills.
In conclusion, this issue can be mitigated through measures in the sphere of education and by helping children socialize

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a varied vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific and precise language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise grammatical structures could enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing two potential solutions to the issue of uncontrolled Internet access for young people. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, with specific examples to support the points made. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more thorough explanation of how these solutions could be implemented and their potential impact.