With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?
21st century has brought forward many innovations among which is technology that revolutionized the way we communicate with one another. The introduction of social media has been made possible through technology and concerns are arising over the unmonitored use of it by youngsters, who prefer to chat and talk to friends on the internet. While this can lead to a set of unfortunate events, proper steps to tackle this issue include limiting the use of social media and providing education.
Unfortunately, a large proportion of teenagers have become the victims of social media due to its addictive nature. More often than not, target audience of such innovation as social media is people aged 13-20 as they are relatively digitally literate compared to seniors who are over 40 years old. In such a scenario, parents should be responsible for their children’s action and must limit the time they can spend on such apps. Moreover, different sorts of apps are being introduced every year to solve the issue of digital addiction. With that being said, making use of apps that help parents control their children’s screen time could also appear to be a valuable alternative.
Solving the issue through forcing children to just stop using social media blindly is not always the best option to opt for when there is a set of different solutions. One of such methods is the addition of extra subjects to school curriculum. Strangely, in the world of advanced technology and courses that teach modern professions, there are no guidelines as to how to make use of it properly. A case in point is Germany, a country that understood the ramifications of excessive use of social media and added phycological lessons to raise students’ awareness so that they will not fall into the trap of constant exposure to such applications.
In conclusion, undoubtedly, spending too much time on social media pose a great risk for children. Though, the issue could be solved through putting a time limit and educating children of the dangers of social media.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more varied and sophisticated use of language to convey complex ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, including complex sentences and passive constructions. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more varied and sophisticated use of language to convey complex ideas more effectively.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the potential dangers of unmonitored social media use by youngsters and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples and explanations. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that the conclusion thoroughly summarizes the main points and reiterates the proposed solutions.