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Worldwide mobile phone sales in 2005 and 2006

The table illustrates the proportion of global mobile phone sales in the years 2005 and 2006.
Overall, the sales of Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericson increased over the period in the question while the opposite trend observed in the percentages of Samsung, LG, BenQ Mobile and other unspecified companies. Moreover, while Nokia dominated the market with the highest percentage of sold items, BenQ Mobile exhibited the lowest sales rates.
Focusing on increases first, the percentage of mobile phones sold by Nokia was nearly a third of the total market sales in 2005. A year later, it increased to 35 percent consolidating its dominance in the global mobile phone market. Similarly, in 2005, the proportions of phones sold by Motorola and Sony Ericson were 17.7% and 6.3% respectively. The former company increased by 3.4% and the latter grew by 1.1% in terms of phone sales.
By contrast, the remaining companies experienced decreases of varying degree. Samsung sold 12.7% of global mobile phone sales in 2005, the figure then dropped slightly to 11.8%. LG has also experienced a slight decline from 6.7% to 6.3% between 2005 and 2006. In contrast, BenQ Mobile witnessed the biggest decrease over the period from 2005 to 2006, with respective figures being 49% and 2.4%. Other unnamed companies decreased by 3% from 19.2% to 16.2 % over the period given.

6.5

The essay is generally well-organized with clear comparisons and trends identified. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Suggestions
  • Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
  • Ensure all data points mentioned are accurate.
  • Clarify contrasting trends more explicitly.

The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, though there is room for more precise language.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures but contains some inaccuracies.

The essay effectively summarizes the main features and makes relevant comparisons, though there are minor inaccuracies in data reporting.

Suggestions
  • Double-check numerical data for accuracy.
  • Ensure all trends are clearly explained.