Write about the following topic: *Some people believe that social media has a negative impact on individuals and society, while others think it has a positive effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.* Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people think that social media may influence humans negatively. Opponents, however, argue that it can affect us positively. Both views are rational in their own ways, but I would agree with the later group of people.
On the one hand, In our modernized world, the position of the media is paramount , owing to its efficiency. Thus, nowadays, everyone has their own phones and they also have their own social media. And it has many drawbacks for both individuals and society. One of these is its negative influences on our mental health. Owing to utilizing much a day, most people are facing frustration diseases. As a result, they may lose the ability to communicate with each other. Furthermore, most youngsters pay attention to spending time on the media instead studying. This may result in the loss of position in the society in the future, due to the lack of knowledge to work somewhere. As a consequence, they may encounter poverty.
On the other hand, in spite of its disadvantages, there are several advantages for humans who want to be aware of the changes in our world. First and foremost, it is useful for people because many individuals have a willingness to hear about the news. And social media can make opportunities to get information simply by solely logging on. Furthermore, it is beneficial to learn subjects for students who want to learn with the online courses. Owing to the cheapest price to learn, online education in social media is becoming popular among the children.
To sum up, the media may impact humans and society with both positive and negative effects. It can be beneficial, if it uses its appropriate intentions.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as in sentence construction that can cause some difficulty for the reader. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures, but there are some errors in agreement, tense, and preposition usage that can cause some difficulty for the reader. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views on the impact of social media and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the arguments are not fully developed, and the essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and support them with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.