You are looking for a full-time job, and recently you saw a job opening in an advertisement. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • introduce yourself • explain what sort of job you would like to do • and say what experience and skills you have
Dear Sir or Madam,
The reason why I am addressing you is to inquire regarding the advertisement about what occupations are available in your establishment.
I would like to work as a controller in your office because of my degree in controlling the employees. The way, I would be able to serve efficiently and learn needed working experiences.
I have matriculated from Uzb University in 2020 and my major was a regulator. Afterwards, I used to work in the Oxford Office and soon I left because of the financial bankruptcy in the office. Then, I tried to find a new working position in the offices , but I didn’t find the best suitable ones owing to the lack of working places in my neighborhood. During this time, I solely get five months experience.
I look forward to your response as soon as possible. Thank you for your time and consideration. I believe that my skill-set perfectly matches your requirements.
Yours sincerely,
Jasur Sulaymonov.
The letter is logically organized, and the flow of information is clear. However, there are some areas where the connection between ideas could be enhanced. The letter follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the purpose of the letter, but the connection between different points could be clearer. Using more explicit transition words and phrases would help guide the reader through the letter. Additionally, linking the applicant’s experience more directly to the job requirements would enhance the overall coherence.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The letter demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “I used to work in the Oxford Office and soon I left because of the financial bankruptcy in the office” is confusing and may lead to misunderstandings. Clarifying the intended meaning and using more precise language would improve the overall effectiveness of the letter. Additionally, using a wider variety of vocabulary would make the letter more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. These include errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. For example, “I have matriculated from Uzb University” should be “I have graduated from Uzb University,” and “I solely get five months experience” should be “I have only five months of experience.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition use, would improve the overall quality of the letter. Additionally, varying sentence structures would make the writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
The letter addresses the task and provides the necessary information, but the response could be more detailed and specific. The letter provides the basic information required for the task, but it could benefit from more specific details. For example, the applicant mentions having a degree in regulation and experience in employee management, but does not provide further details on their qualifications or how they would apply their skills in the proposed role. Providing more specific examples of past achievements or responsibilities would enhance the effectiveness of the letter. Additionally, addressing how their background aligns with the specific requirements of the job would make the application more compelling.
Suggestions
- Include more specific details about your qualifications and experience.
- Provide examples of how you have successfully managed or controlled employees in the past.