The letter is somewhat logically organized, but there are clear issues with the flow of information and the development of ideas. The letter lacks a clear and logical structure, making it difficult to follow the writer’s points. Transitions between sentences and ideas are weak, and the letter would benefit from a clearer overall structure, such as an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The inclusion of irrelevant information (about the family trip and the job application process) disrupts the letter’s coherence and makes it harder to understand the main point.

Suggestions

• Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas within and between paragraphs.
• Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information within the paragraph is relevant to that topic.

The letter uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some skill with collocation. However, there are some inaccuracies and the letter would benefit from a wider range of more formal vocabulary. The letter uses a somewhat informal and casual tone, which is not appropriate for a formal job application. Additionally, some word choices are awkward or incorrect (e.g., “I have got was delayed”). Increasing the use of formal vocabulary and ensuring that all words are used in their appropriate context would enhance the letter’s lexical resource.

The letter demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors, particularly with verb tenses and article usage. The letter contains several grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, article usage, and subject-verb agreement (e.g., “the following days are starting next weekend”). These errors can make the letter difficult to understand. Proofreading to correct these mistakes is recommended. Additionally, the letter would benefit from a greater variety of sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency.

The letter addresses the task and provides the necessary information, but it could be more concise and focused. The letter provides the necessary information but could be more concise and focused. The writer’s main objective is clear, but the letter also includes irrelevant details about a family trip. These details could be omitted to make the letter more focused on the job-related request. The writer should aim to provide all necessary details but avoid sharing personal information that is not required for a job application.

Suggestions

• Be more concise and focused in your writing. Try to eliminate any irrelevant information.