Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages?

İt is true that teenagers get affected by their friends most of the time in today’s world. This situation has both positive and negative impacts on children’s lives and development. İn this essay I will examine both sides of this trend and provide explanations for them.
On the one hand, young people can gain some benefits by spending time with other people around them which may be spirit of competitiveness and motivation to go on. İt is often experience it that youngsters attempt to be better, stronger, smarter than their mates. This latest to the creation of the feeling of being competitive and trying to be the best among people. That is the feature which frequently lacks in individuals when finding a job or setting up a business. On top of that most of the children in educational organizations gets motivated by their friends in most cases. For example, if a child starts learning a new language their friends or at least his/her best friend tries out that activity and they do the same things together. This condition also has upsides including spending time together, which prevents children from being isolated and makes them socialize. All of thesre can promote the development of young individuals.
On the other hand, surrounding people may create some serious problems to youngsters. Firstly, more often than not young people feel present or get nervous if they are compared to their well doing peers in schools. This is an actual problem of most societies. Besides it is natural that as a human being a person feels jealous sometimes when people around them obtain new things like house or a luxurious car. This, in turn, causes a strain pushing is a person to work really hard to keep up with other individuals. Another serious drawback of this condition is that because of people around them and individual is more likely to take on a bad habit ranging from smoking to even committing a crime. This also, regretfully, has become common among school students. I can show my narrow circle friends as a bright example as due to a single friend who smokes all other peers also started that unfavorable habit in just a couple of weeks. Having taken all of these into account, I personally consider influence of others to young children as harmful. Therefore parents should control whom their offspring are spending time with.
In conclusion, while surrounding people may have positive impacts on children, I strongly believe that this condition has more disadvantages and I recommend parents have to take the responsibility of controlling who their children’s friends are.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “this latest to the creation of the feeling of being competitive” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Improving word choice and ensuring spelling and grammar accuracy will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, using a wider variety of expressions and idioms will make the essay more engaging to read.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “most of the children in educational organizations gets motivated by their friends in most cases” should be “most children in educational organizations are motivated by their friends.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and preposition use, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using a wider range of grammatical constructions will make the essay more engaging to read.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of peer influence on young people. The writer presents a clear position that the negative effects of peer pressure outweigh the benefits and provides specific examples to support this view. The essay could be further improved by providing more detailed examples and evidence to support the arguments made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points discussed and reinforcing the writer’s position.