Skip to main content

Asila

Some believe that all university students should study whatever they want, on the other hand others think that students should subject that will help us prepare for the future, such as Science or Technology, I tend to believe this trend is partially positive due to some reasons which will be addressed in the subsequent paragraphs.
Every student is unique, they have their own passions which are usually not the same as others, so having a curriculum that doesn’t suit them could be holding them back from success. If a student knows their strengths, they can use it to become more powerful and it will help them succeed in the future. Making big decisions like this from a younger age will help them because in the future they will know how to approach the decision and know what to do when faced with an important one.
Turning to the other side of the argument, students might only choose what seems simple to them rather than thinking about their future. In the future, some careers will be taken over or completely replaced by artificial intelligence (AI) or robots, for instance we have certain types of writers, such as authors, and car or truck drivers, these jobs are likely to be impacted by AI. This is why we need to study subjects that will assist us in finding a job that will not be affected by artificial intelligence.
Some people think that university students should only be permitted to study subjects that will be beneficial in the future, such as science and technology, while others believe that all students should study whatever they please. I partially agree with this statement for reasons such as every students’ uniqueness, and making crucial decisions, despite the negative reasons such as preparing for a career that won’t be impacted by artificial intelligence.

6.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the body paragraphs could be more detailed and focused. Transitions between ideas are generally well-handled, but there are a few instances where they could be improved. The essay is generally easy to follow, but there are a few areas where clarity could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Consider using more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
  • Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder overall clarity.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The conclusion could also be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Make sure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.