In the 21st century, environmental changes are increasing among so many countries around the world, It is argued that climate shifts are responded by government in comparison to people. While some people think that individuals play a key role to solve this problem, however, I think that governments should give a response to this global climate transformation through enacting laws related to climate changes and teaching to save environment to people.
First of all, I believe that responses of governments are more important than individuals to solve these invironmental problems. Governments should create the fairly laws that positively impact and obey all kind of people on them. To be more clear, if there are not strictly rules, citizens continue to accomplish ecological crimes such as, cuting down trees and wasting
water resources. As a consequence, these actions prevent climate disasters that lead to catastrophic situations to humanity. Secondly, people should be instructed to protect ecosystem by special ecologicist tears and a lot of programmes such as, shows and films are prepared to spread among people. As a result people may comprehend consequences of utilizing improper purposes from the surrounding. For example, in Japan, saving environments are taught children since young.
Secondly, some laws that give encouragement to eco-friendly companies should be passed by authorities. To be more clear, some companies that non-producing industrial smokes ought to take motivations such, exempting from taxes and giving subsidies by governments. And also, it is important to improve the number of companies that produce energy from renewable energy. And they ought to take a support from governments to improve the amount of green energy.
In conclusion, although, at the circumstances of rising global climate changes, people’s relevance is crucial to solve these types of problems however, I believe that government’s responsible are more important according to the above evidence
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can be unclear. More explicit signposting language could help to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent and appropriate.
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are several instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the essay sometimes fails to fully develop its ideas or provide sufficient support for its arguments, leading to a lack of depth in the discussion.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and shows a reasonable level of grammatical control. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are unclear due to grammatical inaccuracies. The essay also sometimes uses grammatical structures in an awkward or incorrect way, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay also sometimes fails to fully develop its ideas or provide sufficient support for its arguments, leading to a lack of depth in the discussion.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support the argument.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.