Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas. Why is this? What problems does this cause?
Urban sprawl is becoming a major problem in many countries around the globe. Rezidents prefer city centers for career development, which results in environmental drawbacks.
Nowadays, cities are the growth area for professional development. Big companies that provide high salary and opportunities for promotion often located in urban areas. Successful companies such as Apple and Google offer their employees professional development opportunities and good conditions for work that attracts employees from rural areas.
Due to the fact that people travel to work by car, it results in high demand on transport infrastructure, which directly harms the environment. Increased amount of transport systems cause higher level of pollution and reduces the land available for agriculture. In average, one car emits about 4.6 metric tons of CO2 annualy. Cars in urban areas cause this harm thousand, billion times more.
All things considered, urbanization has a lot of negative drawbacks that harm the nature. As long as cities will offer high employment ranges people will keep moving there in order to earn more money.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be improved. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the link between different points could be made clearer. The use of cohesive devices within paragraphs is good, but the use of linking words between paragraphs could be more effective. Overall, the essay is somewhat repetitive and could benefit from a more varied use of language to improve coherence and cohesion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph adds something new to the overall argument.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, especially with terms related to the environment and the economy. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be clarified. For example, the phrase “rezidents prefer city centers for career development” should be “residents prefer city centers for career development.” Additionally, the phrase “high demand on transport infrastructure” should be “high demand for transport infrastructure.” Overall, the essay shows a fairly strong command of language, but there are some areas that could be improved for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain reader interest. However, there are some grammatical errors that can cause confusion. For example, the phrase “Rezidents prefer city centers for career development” should be “Residents prefer city centers for career development.” Additionally, the phrase “In average, one car emits about 4.6 metric tons of CO2 annualy” should be “On average, one car emits about 4.6 metric tons of CO2 annually.” Overall, the essay shows a good command of grammar and sentence structure, but there are some errors that could be addressed to improve clarity and precision.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the increasing urbanization and the problems it causes. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments made. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and providing a more definitive stance on the issue. Overall, the essay provides a clear response to the prompt, but it could be improved by providing more specific examples and by strengthening the conclusion.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points and providing a more definitive stance on the issue.