Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that only a few wild animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
Some argue that all wild animals should be protected, while others believe that only a few species deserve special care. Personally, I agree with former view.
On the one hand, focusing on certain species will maintain balanced use of food recourses. Consumptions are very expensive, requiring a lot money for habitat preservation and living programs. Although, prioritizing rare animals can maximize their impact. For example, saving predators like tigers and lions helps to balance the ecosystem, benefiting other animals to continue their life.
On the other hand, I support the idea of protecting all wildlife. Firstly, every species plays a unique role in ecosystem. Even invisible species, such as insects and bees, maintaining ecological stability by pollinating plants and trees. Taking them as an exceptions could destroy food chain and lead to bad consequences. Secondly, all animals have their value and rights in wildlife and have chance to exist in Earth. Furthermore, all species help people to survive, and it is our responsibility to protect them.
In conclusion, while focusing on specific species, I believe protecting all wildlife is crucial for maintaining ecological balance and continuing other animals survival.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Ensure that both sides of the argument are fully developed and supported with specific examples.