Some people think that children should grow up in the countryside than a big city Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals believe that youngsters should be raised in the rural areas than in a huge urban areas.I completely disagree with this statement.
Firstly, living in a countryside who teenagers is caused to create many problems.One of the main reasons for this is the poor quality of education.For example, there are not both enough facilities in the schools and educational preparation centers or courses available.Also,the lack of sufficient experience among teachers. Consequently ,children unable to utilize full chance of educational opportunities.Moreover,in the future, they may struggle to pursue a profession easily.
Another drawback services are dangerous for adolescent’s life. Since, due to the remoteness of their living area, timely access medical assistance might be comprised when they seek help. Furthermore, the shortage of crucial medical equipment in hospitals, also the limited expertise of doctors pose a significant risk to children’s health.
In conclusion, I would like to, once again, reiterate my view that teenager’s upbringing in countryside remains detrimental due to the facts that the awful condition of teaching and the in need of healthcare services .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be refined for better clarity and impact.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and agreement, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the potential drawbacks of raising teenagers in the countryside, such as poor educational opportunities and limited healthcare services. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments made.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.