▎Task 2: Essay Write an essay about the impact of technology on education. Include: • An introduction that outlines the role of technology in modern education • At least two positive impacts of technology on learning (e.g., accessibility, interactive learning) • At least two negative impacts of technology on education (e.g., distractions, reliance on devices) • A conclusion that reflects on the balance between technology and traditional teaching methods
Nowadays, it can be clearly seen that technology influenced our education process. In this essay, I will explore its both negative and positive influences.
On the one hand, technologies can be a positive development, unless the students utilize it for appropriate ways. First and foremost, it is a useful item for candidates who want to learn things by purchasing online educational courses. Owing to its ability to create opportunities for students to learn languages or other subjects while solely watching videos on the phone, most of the parents allow their children to utilize phones. Moreover, in recent years, students prefer to learn things from the online courses instead of traditional schools, owing to the decrease in teaching children efficiently in the lessons of the school.
On the other hand, it has some drawbacks for students. Owing to some children purchasing phones to play games or watching videos on the media instead of learning anything, most of the parents regret allowing their children to utilize their phones. Furthermore, it is true that most of the students use it for education, however, they utilize it for doing their homework with cheating. As a result, they apply for the university, but they cannot enter the university with their cheating on the lessons.
To sum up, technology may influence our education with both its advantages and disadvantageous sides.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each side of the argument, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the connection between some ideas within paragraphs could be made clearer to improve overall cohesion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and clearly connect them to the main point of the essay.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with terms like “interactive learning,” “online educational courses,” and “traditional schools” used appropriately. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be refined for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to more effectively convey the nuances of the arguments presented.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that are unclear or ungrammatical. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures and shows an understanding of basic grammar rules. However, there are some grammatical errors that can affect the clarity and readability of the essay, such as issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading to correct these errors is recommended to improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of technology on education. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay would benefit from a more in-depth analysis of the points raised and more specific examples to illustrate the arguments effectively. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and restating the position more clearly.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and support them with specific examples.
- Consider providing more detailed explanations and examples to support your points.
- Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points and restating your position more clearly.