The graph below gives information about the percentages of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020,with predictions for 2030 and 2040
The graph below compares four Asian countries by the proportion of city population from 1790 to 2020, with projections for 2030 and 2040.
Overall,There was a significant rise in the prognosis of urbanization in all four countries throughout the period and this is followed by a drammatic increase according to the projections.The proportions of city dwellers in Malaysia and Indonesia witnessed a remarkable rise, making them dominant by the end of given the period, while the figures for Philippines and Thaliand, which were started at lower proportions, are estimated to face considerable growth in the coming decades.
Initially, the noticeable growth is observed from 30% to 45% in 1990 in the propotion of city population in Malaysia,after which it saw a consistent and significant rise in the next decades.
Similarly, the figure for Indonesia grew smoothly and dramatically from 12% in 1970 to 50% in 2020.However it is estimated that the figure will keep growing and reach its peak of 63% in the next 2 decades.
As for Philippines, the proportion of city inhabitants experienced a slight increase during the first decade,after which it saw a sharp rise in 1990.There was a negligible decrease in 2010,but this will be followed by a recovery to 55% in 2040
When it comes to Thaliand,starting at just under 20% in 1970, the figure significantly yet not consistently increased over the years and it is expected that the figure will rise further by the end of 2040 reaching 49%
The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear paragraphing. Transitions between ideas are present but could be more fluid.
Suggestions
- Use clearer paragraphing to structure the essay.
- Improve the use of linking words for better flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary but includes some spelling errors and repetitive language.
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures but contains grammatical errors.
The essay covers the main trends and provides an overview, but some details are inaccurate. The time period mentioned in the introduction is incorrect.
Suggestions
- Correct the time period in the introduction.
- Ensure all data points are accurately represented.