The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph gives the information about the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
Overall, both openings and closures are declined during the 7 years, however openings declined more than clousers
In 2011 the figures of openings were approximately 8500. After one year the figures dramaricly falled less than 4000 and it maked difference from 2011. During 2012 and 2014 the figures gradually increased and the numbers compiled above than 6000. Throughout 2014 and 2015 the numbers also declined to 4000 and after 2015 to 2017 the numbers temporary leveled out then through one year from 2017 to 2018 the numbers falled slightly, in total, figures in the end were 3000
Closures in 2011 were about 6300 and in one year the amount of closures decreased on 300 and from 2012 to 2013 the numbers rised from 6000 to approximately 7100. In 2013 numbers falled slightly through one year and in 2014 the numbers falled tremendously, moreover the one from 2015 to 2016 increased dramatically. Then in 2016 the figures were above 5000 and through 2 years the changes were infinitesimal and still became the same as it was in 2016
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies and informal expressions are sometimes used.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are unclear.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes some relevant comparisons. However, the essay does not fully address the task and there is some irrelevant or inaccurate information.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task and that your writing is relevant, accurate and appropriately detailed.