The graph below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005, compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries.
The bar chart compares proportion of unemployment individuals were aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005.
Overall, Poland and Italy exhibited the highest numbers, while the opposition true for that the Denmark in unemployed person 15-24 years old. This trend is true for that Poland and also Germany accompanied it doing so in terms of overall unemployment. Denmark, Hungary and Italy, on the other hand, had the lowest figure of the category in overall unemployment.
Regarding jobless rate in the age between 15 – 24, the figure for Poland was the highest at 37 which is distantly followed by Italy with just under 28. Hungary and Germany had nearly identical figures of 24 and 22. The lowest figure, however, was seen in Denmark, with each 8 percentage of African who unemployed.
As for the overall unemployment figures, Poland and Germany have has the significant higher rate of unemployment percentage than the other continents did; the former one shown that 28 percent of overall rate of unemployment, making slightly higher than the latter with 20 percent. The figures for Italy was 15 percent, making it slightly higher than that encountered in Hungary with around 13.5 percent and Denmark with 8 percentage of overall unemployment rate in 2005.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are several instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that hinder understanding.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the bar chart. The essay makes relevant comparisons and identifies key trends. However, the essay contains several inaccuracies and some parts of the task are underdeveloped.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed and that the information is presented accurately.
- Provide more detailed and accurate descriptions of the data, including specific figures and comparisons.