The line graph
The line graph compares proportions of England visitors taking a visit to four various touristic places over the period spanning from 1980 to 2010. Overall, while the percentage of people visiting art gallery and festival saw a decline over the period, the reverse was true for pavilion and pier. Notably, despite starting at the lower level, the ratio for pavilion surpassed counterparts after a while.
In detail, in 1980, the percentage of visits to art gallery accounted for 22%, the figure which rose sharply to 38%, followed by a significant drop to the point of 20%. In contrast, there was a moderate growth to the proportion of people visiting pavilion, which reached the top of 48% by 1995. 1990 onwards, the ratio for art gallery visits decreased and ended the chart with roughly 8%. Similarly, after peaking at 48%, the percentage of pavilion visits plummeted to 34%, after which the figure experienced marginal decline to the level of 31%.
Regarding pier and festival visits, the former begun the timeframe with 10%, accounting for the least percentage on the chart. There were mild fluctuations between 15% and 10% to the proportion of pier visits prior to 2000, thereafter the figure increased moderately by 10%, significantly surprising the figure for art gallery. In comparison, the percentage of visits to festival remained relatively stable approximately at 28% throughout, and in the end of the period accounted for 28%.
The essay follows a logical structure, with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some sentences lack clarity, and transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
- Clarify ambiguous statements.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Some expressions are repetitive or awkward.
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors affecting comprehension.
The essay addresses the task requirements, providing an overview and detailed information. However, some data interpretations are slightly inaccurate.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data interpretations are accurate.