The pie and bar chart below show the percentage of water consumption and use in Australia in 2004
The graphs give information about how much percentage of water was consumed and its usage in Australia in the year 2004.
Overall, the largest proportion of water was used in Residential (houses), while it was reverse true for Other concerns. In addition, in residential use of water, Garden and Bathroom can be seen as a dominant in water use than others.
In terms of consumption of water, Residential (houses) again stood out with almost 60%, significantly higher than that of others such as Industry, Business and Residential (apartments), which were around 12%. While Other and government utilized water substantially lower than others accounting for 3% and 6%, respectively.
Focusing on residential water use, Bathroom and Garden required water more than Toilet, Washing clothes and kitchen, nearly 27% both of them, respectively. While the rest of these (Toilet, Washing clothes and Kitchen) accounted for approximately lower 15%, 20%, and 10%, in turn.
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction and body paragraphs. However, there are some awkward transitions and unclear references that affect the flow.
Suggestions
- Use clearer linking words and phrases to improve the flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid repetition of ideas.
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, but some word choices are awkward or repetitive.
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings.
The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing an overview and detailed information. However, some data interpretation could be clearer.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data is accurately interpreted and clearly presented.
- Avoid unnecessary repetition of data.