Travel
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to shed light on the reasons why I am extremely dissatisfied with the service that I received several days ago, and tell my expectations from your shop.
Last week, I went to your shop with the intention of purchasing air conditioner for my house. Although the things in your shop was perfect, your staff was extremely disappointed me. However much I was waiting for your staff, unfortunately, it turned out I can’t converse with them because of rude behaviours. As I arrived there, an employee approached me and suggest some assistance. Nevertheless, he focused on his phone not me. Subsequently, I asked him what kinds of air conditioner available in the shop, but he didn’t replay me. I was extremely disappointed him.
Before I arrived there, I had a lot of intentions but noone of them occurred in there. I regret to have been there and will never be there again.
I appreciate your attention to these matters and hope that my feedback will contribute to improvements at your establishment.
Yours sincerely,
Jasur Sulaymonov.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of the narrative and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your narrative.
- Make sure each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with word form and tense consistency.
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear response to the prompt. However, the customer’s narrative could be more detailed and specific to provide a more effective form of feedback.
Suggestions
- Include specific details about the service you were unhappy with. This could be about the way the staff interacted with you, or about the products you received.
- Try to provide a clear and concise summary of your main points in the conclusion.